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Sex addiction
Someone used to say „Sex addiction isn't about sex”…and it’s all true. When someone mantains control over his/her sexual behaviour, it can’t be called sexual compulsivity. It is simply a particular human sexual expression, no matter how often it appears.
The essence of all addictions, sex addiction included, is addicts' experience of powerlessness over the compulsive behavior, resulting in their lives becoming unmanageable. The addict is out of control and experiences tremendous shame, pain and self-loathing, although he’s not able to stop the self-destructive sexual behavior.
No matter the walks of life, sexual addicts can be ministers, physicians, clerks or street cleaners. Even though, a common pattern still exists on all the subjects’ history: the majority grew up in families in which addiction already flourished, including alcoholism, compulsive eating and compulsive gambling.
Even the sexual addicts are often very secretives, the sex addiction is commonly seen in combination with other addictions as well as mood and stress disorders. Sometimes, when multiple addictions are present (food, alcohol, drugs, gambling) sexual addiction is found to be the "core" addiction. Sexual addiction has been considered, in the past, a largely male problem, but no more, studies suggesting the fact that it is also prevalent in women, although usually manifesting in different ways.
The scale of activities used by the sexual addicts widely varies. Anonymous sex, compulsive pornography use or infidelity are just a few. Even masturbation can become obsessive, being done to the point of injury or to the point that it interferes significantly with ordinary life, when the addict prefers masturbation alone over interpersonal sex. Some addicts act in more intrusive ways, or progress to them as they experience diminishing "highs" for their original activities. This might include voyeurism, exhibitionism or rubbing against people in public places.
Sexual addicts have tried often to stop. But failed. Usually, their behavior generally conforms to a cycle:
Preoccupation - the sexual addict becomes completely engrossed with sexual thoughts or fantasies, spending less time with its family/friends.
Ritualization - the addict follows special routines in a search for sexual stimulation, which intensify the experience and may be more important than reaching orgasm.
Compulsive sexual behavior - the addict's specific sexual acting out (for some flirting, searching the net for pornography or driving to the park).
Despair - the acting out does not lead to normal sexual satisfaction, but to feelings of hopelessness, powerlessness and depression.
To escape the negative feelings, the addict soon becomes preoccupied with sexual thoughts and fantasies again, restarting the addictive cycle and finally leading to negative consequences: losing relationships, difficulties with work, arrests, financial troubles, a loss of interest in things not sexual, low self-esteem and despair.
It is very important to make the difference between a person engaged in certain sexual behaviors and a sexual addict. The key factor in determining if a person is an addict is if his/her behavior is compulsive. For example, a person occasionally looking at pornography is not necessarily one who developed a sex addiction, but a person with a higher sexual appetite. But a person who spends ten hours a day checking the Internet for porn websites and gets fired because of excessive office porn number telephone bill is most likely a sex addict.
The professional treatment for sex addiction includes individual and group therapy. Addicts suffering from other disorders in addition to sexual addiction (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder etc) rarely reach and maintain a sober recovery without highly trained assistance. There are various online support forums as well as large groups based on the 12-step system of Alcoholics Anonymous, called Sex Addicts Anonymous.
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| Users comments on Sex addiction |
| I found out my my x broke up with becuase of internet sexualy addiction. I know i donlt want to give up on her, and make things worse for her. She told me and i told her thats half the battle of actually telling yourself you have an addiction. I told her to tell her conceller and that they maybe able to refer her to some help with that. Same here, like is there any advice i can give her with out being too much of a pain? Please help. | ||
| 10-02-2007 15:16:01 | ||
| your article was enlightening..but what I was looking for was, how does a partner/wife deal with her spouses addiction..what type of support I can give without becoming a nag...I will not give up on the man I love, but I cannot find any site on family support for those who have a partner with this type of addiction.. I look forward to a helpful reply. | ||
| 15-10-2006 02:48:46 | ||
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bSexual addiction/b is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive bsexual/b thoughts and acts. Like all addictions, its negative impact on the ... |
Osterhoudt said society would be better served if Newman received intensive treatment for his bsex addiction/b and other mental illness, such as obsessive/compulsive disorder, fetishism, and anxiety/depression, instead of being sent to b.../b |
